February 2012
688 posts
This is why I don't take naps.
expectations: I'm just going to take a quick power nap and I'll wake up refreshed and energized
reality: passed out cold for five hours solid, wake up not knowing what day it is or what the last meal you ate was
zadieelovesyou asked: 3, 8, 9, 13, 17, 25. :D
“How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves...”
– Don Delillo (via petallis)
Me: Aw, i've grown to love this character deeply.
Suzanne Collins: whoops, time to kill them.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
1 tag
3 tags
Listen
Anonymous asked: 1, 3, 8, 32, 51, 66, 73
1 tag
1 tag
catnus:
It’s that time of year again
that one special night when we can all gather together and
mourn Leonardo DiCaprio’s lack of an Oscar.
iamjessicaleann asked: 32, 41, 46, 70, 82, 125, 146, 151
heymell asked: 19, 44, 58, 76, 85, 137, 145, 150, 152. Have fun :]
zadieelovesyou asked: 20, 27, 35, 56
1 tag
Do it, for me?
1: Full name
2: Zodiac sign
3: 3 Fears
4: 3 things I love
5: 4 turns on
6: 4 turns off
7: My best friend
8: Sexual orientation
9: My best first date
10: How tall am I
11: What do I miss
12: What time were I born
13: Favourite color
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote
16: Favourite place
17: Favourite food
18: Do I use sarcasm
19: What am I listening to right now
20: First thing I notice in new person
21: Shoe size
22: Eye color
23: Hair color
24: Favourite style of clothing
25: Ever done a prank call?
26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now?
27: Meaning behind my URL
28: Favourite movie
29: Favourite song
30: Favourite band
31: How I feel right now
32: Someone I love
33: My current relationship status
34: My relationship with my parents
35: Favourite holiday
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
42: When did I last hold hands?
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?
45: Where am I right now?
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
49: Am I excited for anything?
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
55: What is something I disliked about today?
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
57: What do I think about most?
58: What’s my strangest talent?
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
61: What was the last lie I told?
62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
64: Do I believe in magic?
65: Do I believe in luck?
66: What's the weather like right now?
67: What was the last book I've read?
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
69: Do I have any nicknames?
70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?
71: Do I spend money or save it?
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
74: Favourite animal?
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
78: How can you win my heart?
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
80: What is my favorite word?
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
87: Had sex?
88: Bought condoms?
89: Gotten pregnant?
90: Failed a class?
91: Kissed a boy?
92: Kissed a girl?
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
94: Had job?
95: Left the house without my wallet?
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
97: Had sex in public?
98: Played on a sports team?
99: Smoked weed?
100: Did drugs?
101: Smoked cigarettes?
102: Drank alcohol?
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
104: Been overweight?
105: Been underweight?
106: Been to a wedding?
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
109: Been outside my home country?
110: Gotten my heart broken?
111: Been to a professional sports game?
112: Broken a bone?
113: Cut myself?
114: Been to prom?
115: Been in airplane?
116: Fly by helicopter?
117: What concerts have I been to?
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
119: Learned another language?
120: Wore make up?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
122: Had oral sex?
123: Dyed my hair?
124: Voted in a presidential election?
125: Rode in an ambulance?
126: Had a surgery?
127: Met someone famous?
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
129: Peed outside?
130: Been fishing?
131: Helped with charity?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
133: Broken a mirror?
134: What do I want for birthday?
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
136: Was I named after anyone?
137: Do I like my handwriting?
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
139: Favourite Tv Show?
140: Where do I want to live when older?
141: Play any musical instrument?
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
143: Favourite pizza toping?
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
145: Am I afraid of heights?
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
148: What I'm really bad at
149: What my greatest achievments are
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery
152: What do I like about myself
153: My closest Tumblr friend
154: Something I fantasise about
155: Any question you'd like
“british men have these wonderful manners, and everything they say is funnier,...”
– jennifer lawrence, glamour magazine (via keverdeen)
2 tags
apocalypticaaa:
we think you’re a joke; shove...
1 tag
Fan: Hey, do you mind if I go in first to get in the theater? I just love The Hunger Games!
Me:
Fan:
Me:
Fan: Hello? Well I know you've been here longer in line, but I read this book like months ago so I've been waiting longer than you probably. So I guess I'll just-
Me: I'VE DONE MY WAITING.
Fan: Wha-
Me: -TWELVE YEARS OF IT.
Fan: But it hasn't even been ou-
Me: IN AZKABAN.